Dating a walking cliche

They post her profile on an Internet dating service with the following message: "Voluptuous, sensuous, alluring and fun. Must love dogs."What follows is painfully predictable.

There are endless vignettes involving the total losers Sarah encounters online. The only interesting aspect of these scenes is Lane's ever-changing hairstyle.

You expect to see one or more every time you visit a new page – the same old lines about looking for someone with a sense of humour, or how people notice their eyes, or about how they’re not too sure how to describe themselves.

If you're really serious about finding love, you should avoid them all — especially the ones that make you sound pandering and obsequious for a relationship. How will your soulmate know that you're unique and interesting if you sound like a boring, packaged caricature? It's sandy and annoying, plus all I can think about is how it's 20 degrees outside right now.

Here are the top 5 phrases to avoid on your online dating profile:1. Oh really, you're the Saying you love to laugh is like saying you love oxygen. Laughter, food, oxygen are all part of the living experience. Perhaps we are better suited as "pals in insults." Also, why do you need a partner? I'm going to walk to my kitchen for a sandwich; you keep wandering around like a nomad.

The best part about organic grub: You don't have to be Mario Batali to whip up a decent spread, thanks to the tastiness of fresh local produce and meat.

You could pop down to the farmers' market, but visiting a nearby farm makes it more of an adventure (to find both, visit localharvest.org).

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